In honor of Presidents Day, The Jimbo List proudly presents some of the craziest presidential rumors that never happened. Hail to the Chiefs!

GEORGE WASHINGTON REFERRED TO HIS POWDERED WIG AS “HAIR FORCE ONE”

GROVER CLEVELAND’S MUSTACHE WEIGHED MORE THAN HIS SECRETARY OF STATE

LYNDON JOHNSON WANTED TO NAME A  SON “LARRY BIRD” JOHNSON

AFTER A FEW COCKTAILS, RICHARD NIXON TALKED TO THE PORTRAITS ON PAPER MONEY

MILLARD FILLMORE HAD AN IMAGINARY FRIEND NAMED WILLARD FILLMORE

ABRAHAM LINCOLN ALSO FAVORED STOVEPIPE SOCKS

GEORGE W. BUSH STARTED EVERY CABINET MEETING WITH A KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE

FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT ORIGINALLY PLANNED TO SAY, “THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS TEN YEARS OF UNRELENTING MISERY”

DWIGHT EISENHOWER BRIEFLY TRIED THE SLOGAN, “I KIND OF PREFER IKE”

TEDDY ROOSEVELT WANTED ALL SUPREME COURT CASES TO BE DECIDED BY CAGE FIGHTS

BILL CLINTON THREATENED TO SHUT DOWN THE GOVERNMENT UNLESS McDONALD’S BROUGHT BACK THE McRIB YEAR ROUND

Actually, that last one might be true.