The Jimbo List has noticed that certain foods seem to have better publicity machinery behind them than others. For one thing, they’ve hit the name jackpot – getting tagged with much more appetizing names than they merit. It happens up and down the tastiness scale, from yummy to yecch. For example:
FLORENTINE
By any measure, Florentine is a beautiful, beautiful word. It has style and elegance. It flows off the tongue. It … is spinach. Come on, now! I enjoy spinach as much as the next guy, but calling it Florentine when you add it to chicken should be an actionable offense.
SWEETBREADS
Sorry to get all Seinfeldian here, but sweetbreads aren’t sweet and they sure as hell aren’t bread. Unless, of course, you like to spread peanut butter and jelly between two slices of a lamb’s pancreas. Sweetbreads, those yucky innards of calves or lambs, stand as possibly the most misleading culinary name of all time.
RED DELICIOUS APPLES
I would contend that this entry in the pantheon of apples has not had to earn its own way. While all of your Galas, Empires and McIntoshes have had to scrape and scratch for every admirer, the Red Delicious sits back and lets its name do all the heavy lifting. This, from an apple that turns to mush if left unattended long enough to answer a text.
RED BLISS POTATOES
Might as well deal with this other “Red.” I happen to be a fan of the Red Bliss Potato, but is it honestly any more worthy of “bliss” than a Yukon Gold or a trustworthy Russet? I think not.
WELSH RAREBIT
Also called Welsh Rabbit, I have a sneaking suspicion that people are so pleased it’s not made with actual rabbit that they’re willing to put up with the insanely fanciful name. I mean, we’re really only talking here about a grilled cheese sandwich that went rogue.
HUSH PUPPIES
Sorry, the name is simply too cute. By rights, a “Hush Puppy” should be something that is covered in powdered sugar, with a prize inside. Instead, it’s a cornbread ball… a delectable, warm, cornbread ball.
TRUFFLES
Once the U.S. Supreme Court sorts out national healthcare, I really think it needs to do something about Truffles. Here we have a mouth watering word that means one of two things: a decadent chocolate treat or a misshapen bit of fungus growing in damp darkness. I know which one I want to see the waiter bring to my table, and it’s not the fungus.
Obviously, your tastes may be different. What are some food names you find vexing?