Sometimes there shouldn’t be an app for that. Seriously. As we hurtle ever closer to the day when there are more smartphone applications than there are people who use them, here are nine app ideas that need never see the light of day.

Poorsquare – Tells you where you’d be right now if you had more money.

GoogleErp – Digitally whisks you to the nearest spot where you’ve been violently ill.

PayPaul – Automatically sends your bookie $100 every time you think about betting on the Lakers in the playoffs.

iSHUV – Transforms any smartphone into a working meat thermometer.

GodotGo – “Waiting for Godot,” 24-7 (no waiting).

LikeLike – Inserts the word “like” into every sentence of any text message or ebook.

MugShotz – A gallery of celebrity coffee mugs.

iCoaster – Allows you to use your smartphone as a beverage tray.

TMZzzzz – Continuously updated video clips of paparazzi eating dinner alone, hunched over the kitchen sink.