You won’t believe all the crazy stuff that will happen if the government shutdown goes on for an extended period of time. For instance…

DR. OZ BECOMES THE NEXT U.S. SURGEON GENERAL

THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL GOES SHIRTLESS

AIR FORCE ONE WILL CHARGE EXTRA FOR CARRY-ONS

SCHOOL KIDS WILL HAVE TO TAKE THEIR CLASS TRIP TO WASHINGTON TERRACE, UTAH

IT’LL BE SALVATION ARMY VS. OLD NAVY PLAYING FOOTBALL ON NATIONAL TV

THE SMOOT-HAWLEY ACT WILL HAVE TO LET HAWLEY GO

THE ONLY “OLD FAITHFUL” PEOPLE WILL BE ABLE TO WATCH SPEWING REGULARLY WILL BE PAT ROBERTSON

NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE CALLS WILL GO DIRECTLY TO BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY

THE NEW NATIONAL CURRENCY? GROUPONS

NORTH AND SOUTH DAKOTA WILL BE PUT IN ESCROW

EXTRAS ON “THE WALKING DEAD” WILL BE WEARING U.S. POSTAL SERVICE OUTFITS

NASA WILL BE REPLACED BY A KID IN FLORIDA WITH A BOX OF BOTTLE ROCKETS

Who knew?